...that’s what the scruffy little teenage scrotum shouted at me last night.
He delivered this directive as he cycled past me in the park, his jeans hanging off his backside, his finger and outstretched arm pointing accusingly at me and his face screwed up in disgust.
To give the little turd his dues, it certainly wasn’t the cruelest or nastiest abuse I’ve had hurled at me from strangers in the street. But, despite the instructional nature of this command, it was still only designed to hurt and belittle and not to motivate.
In the past this would have had me running to a food shop. My inner demons would have stood shoulder to shoulder with the scruffy little shite and used his words to further torture me. She wouldn’t have been satisfied until every last glimmer of positivity was removed from my brain and I was left in a crumpled mess of self loathing with no option but to drown myself under a mountain of sugar.
Funny thing happened last night though. Last night, I just held my head up high and walked on. His words barely even registered with me - let alone weighed me down - I just walked past and said inwardly “I AM losing weight!”.
I guess the timing couldn’t have been more perfect. I was still riding high from my milestone victory, plus I’d eaten well all day and I’d done two whole lots of exercise: spin class in the morning and a walk around the Tan with fab fellow bloggers Miss Milo and K not Kay after work. In fact this particular incident happened just a couple of minutes after we’d parted on my way back to the car. I was feeling right good, nothing was going to hurt me in that moment.
It’s just like something my manager said today. He was telling me he was “busy, but good-busy”, to which I replied “so long as it doesn’t become stressful-busy”. His response was “stress is only from the inside”. At the time I think I quipped something dismissive about that being a very hippy-zen attitude, but the more I thought about it the more I saw the truth in those words. Stress is a state of mind, you can be rushed off your feet busy and still not be stressed, or you might just have one task in front of you and still be totally stressed out of your box with it [ahem...finished your document yet Ani??].
I figure it’s the same with that teenager; the hurt would only have been from the inside. He’s not someone who’s opinion I respect, so why should I let it ruffle me? He’s not a friend or loved one who’s words can still have the power to cut me to the core, he’s a nobody to me. The decision whether to let his words hurt me or not are entirely in my hands. Without consciously knowing it, I definitely chose the right way.
Now, back to the happier little detail of this story you may have picked up on. Through this blog I have had the pleasure to meet some fantastic and lovely people: there was our walk last night, a lovely coffee with Ashwee a couple of weeks ago and with Kathryn last month, lunch with Miss Milo (at “Australia’s Favourite Cafe” no less), and of course the guest-of-honour special Melbourne bloggers meet with DietGirl herself.
When I started this blog, the chances of real friendships coming out of it wasn’t something that had even occurred to me. I humbly admit I have been totally blessed. You guys ROCK!