“lose some weight!”

...that’s what the scruffy little teenage scrotum shouted at me last night.

He delivered this directive as he cycled past me in the park, his jeans hanging off his backside, his finger and outstretched arm pointing accusingly at me and his face screwed up in disgust.

To give the little turd his dues, it certainly wasn’t the cruelest or nastiest abuse I’ve had hurled at me from strangers in the street. But, despite the instructional nature of this command, it was still only designed to hurt and belittle and not to motivate.

In the past this would have had me running to a food shop. My inner demons would have stood shoulder to shoulder with the scruffy little shite and used his words to further torture me. She wouldn’t have been satisfied until every last glimmer of positivity was removed from my brain and I was left in a crumpled mess of self loathing with no option but to drown myself under a mountain of sugar.

Funny thing happened last night though. Last night, I just held my head up high and walked on. His words barely even registered with me - let alone weighed me down - I just walked past and said inwardly “I AM losing weight!”.

I guess the timing couldn’t have been more perfect. I was still riding high from my milestone victory, plus I’d eaten well all day and I’d done two whole lots of exercise: spin class in the morning and a walk around the Tan with fab fellow bloggers Miss Milo and K not Kay after work. In fact this particular incident happened just a couple of minutes after we’d parted on my way back to the car. I was feeling right good, nothing was going to hurt me in that moment.

It’s just like something my manager said today. He was telling me he was “busy, but good-busy”, to which I replied “so long as it doesn’t become stressful-busy”. His response was “stress is only from the inside”. At the time I think I quipped something dismissive about that being a very hippy-zen attitude, but the more I thought about it the more I saw the truth in those words. Stress is a state of mind, you can be rushed off your feet busy and still not be stressed, or you might just have one task in front of you and still be totally stressed out of your box with it [ahem...finished your document yet Ani??].

I figure it’s the same with that teenager; the hurt would only have been from the inside. He’s not someone who’s opinion I respect, so why should I let it ruffle me? He’s not a friend or loved one who’s words can still have the power to cut me to the core, he’s a nobody to me. The decision whether to let his words hurt me or not are entirely in my hands. Without consciously knowing it, I definitely chose the right way.

Now, back to the happier little detail of this story you may have picked up on. Through this blog I have had the pleasure to meet some fantastic and lovely people: there was our walk last night, a lovely coffee with Ashwee a couple of weeks ago and with Kathryn last month, lunch with Miss Milo (at “Australia’s Favourite Cafe” no less), and of course the guest-of-honour special Melbourne bloggers meet with DietGirl herself.

When I started this blog, the chances of real friendships coming out of it wasn’t something that had even occurred to me. I humbly admit I have been totally blessed. You guys ROCK!


Losing Waist! said...

Hey. What an amazing reaction! When that has happened in the past I have just had the desire to inflict pain and tourture on the person who did it. Really, like visions of cutting out their tongue... hahah!

YOU are changing!

Fat[free]Me said...

Well done you!

K not Kay said...

Go you!
Words like that can cut so so SOOO deep... One of my worst memories is walking across a bridge, feeling utterly miserable about how "ugly, disgusting and repulsive" I was because I had red hair, freckles, ugly clothes and old shoes. Seconds later, a girl slightly older than myself came up to me and yelled "You are so f***ing ugly, I'd kill myself if I looked like you do." It took me years and years to get over this, and even longer to see the irony of the situation. Even today, I still get worked up if I witness or hear about any similar situation. Back then, I used the event as confirmation that what I had been thinking was true and felt humiliated and hurt, but calm - what was there to get angry about? Today... I'd gladly make use of my self-defence training. In this case - not in (physical) self defence. I'll welcome the day when I can laugh and think to myself "what do YOU know?!" For now, I want to shout that into their face.

I can't believe this little shite did this to you, but your reaction fills me with admiration and makes me smile. Go Ani!

I like your attitude - and your manager's too. :)

Shauna said...

Wow... good on you for handling that with such class! What an obnoxious little arsewipe. And K not Kay, how bloody awful for you too :(

and three cheers for groovy blogging dames... it would be a dull ol world without em!

Tully said...

What a horrible little shit.I wish I could deal with these situations half as well as you did. You are one smart chicky! :-)

kathrynoh said...

The little punk. The thing is he prolly said the same thing to a size 8 chick five minutes later - because they know that stuff is going to get a reaction from women. I bet he wasn't even such hot shit himself.

It's so stupid how we react - going on a binge only hurts ourselves. Go you for not letting the kid win!

Cammy said...

What a HUGE NSV! That great attitude is going to see you through to your goals!

AlleyCat said...

And may the flea's of 1000 camels infest his scrawny little armpits!!!

Well done you :0)

ani pesto said...

@K not Kay - that's just so nasty, comments like that are just a fleeting moment that passes in a second for the person giving them but the person on the receiving end can be scarred for life.

I remember a couple episodes of the Biggest Loser ago Bob, in his late 50s, said he was still scarred by something that was said to him in school sports which put him off exercising ever since.

@kathrynoh - you're so right, it's amazing how personally we take it yet there's nothing to say he didn't say it to every single walker and jogger he passed

@AlleyCat - I second that curse - love it ;-)

I wouldn't want to claim that I'm always going to react so healthily, like I said the stars had all aligned and I was feeling strong. Give me a bad day and I'm not convinced of my resolve just yet - but I'm working on it.

beetricks said...

I love the random abuse from strangers. Not. When I went to Vietnam at the end of last year, I was out shopping with my husband when a guy we passed yelled out "Hey! Your wife very fat! How many kilos?" Husband told him to f*** off etc etc and the local guy looked confused. I had to laugh - he was right! I am very fat! Especially compared to your average Vietnamese woman! But it did initially hurt like hell. I didn't want to leave the hotel for a while. *sigh!* Can't wait till I can laugh in someone's face for saying something like that to me!

wildfluffysheep said...

This happened to me twice y.day! Wish I had the attitude you had towards it. It totally deflated me when I reflected upon it. So major kudos to you!

Miss Milo said...

OMG Ani, how horrendous! I'm so sorry we didn't walk you further now - maybe he woudn't have been so game if there were three of us. What a little &%$%! ***huge hugs***

It's so great that you were able to handle the comment with such grace and control. I agree with the others - your attitudes are definitely changing, and you should be so proud of that!

See you soon :)


ani pesto said...

@beetricks - it's just the worst when someone knocks your confidence on holiday. Holidays are for letting your hair down from all your woes, it's when you feel your best and allow yourself to wear things you'd never be seen in at home. Hope it didn't spoil your trip too much.

@wildfluffysheep - twice?! poor chick, that's just horrible!

@miss m - aww thank you, seriously though it was fine. I had some invisible shield against his disgusting teenageness. There were actually 3 of them n'all, only the one spoke - the others laughed.