month end

The end of January already. The balmy heat is just starting to ease. Down to 37C today, just cool enough for our router to stop playing up and finally keep an internet connection. No more power cuts fingers crossed. Now if the air-conditioner could just learn to do it's job, we might even get a good night's sleep.

It's quite incredible to look back at my first post of the month and remember just how desperate I was back then. When January started I was so incredibly low, drowning myself in food and helplessly watching as I regained all that hard-lost weight. Four weeks later and:

• I've not binged once
• I bought a bike and ridden one for the first time in 20 years
• I've increased my exercise and started to enjoy it again
• I've lost 5 kilos
• I'm generally a whole heap happier

I've come a long way.

I optimistically tried on a skirt I hadn't fitted for a few months. A little too soon as it turned out. Not only did it not fit but I realised I still can't be thinking of wearing skirts just yet. Last summer I was fresh and fancy free and for the first time since I was a kid, I didn't have to wear a selection of cycle shorts, granny knickers or a thick layer of talcum powder to wear skirts and dresses. I miss that. Especially in this heat. But instead of feeling regret, I'm trying to use it as something positive to aim for.

Of course I don't want to be in this position. But I realise that if I concentrate on what I did wrong back then, I won't ever give myself credit for what I'm doing right now. There'll be a time for figuring out how I got here eventually, today though, I can celebrate the end of a huge month.

Today I did the supermarket shopping all on my own for the first time in a month. A month ago a trip to the supermarket was an excuse to pick up a plethora of binge food. This was the first time I've been able to trust myself to be there on my own and not binge. It's all still baby steps but I haven't fallen over once.

Once at Safeways I made a fabulous find. I'd seen Skinny Cow ice cream advertised in my UK imported magazines and they're finally here in Oz (well I'm a little slow on this news, they've been here 4 months already... I do catch up eventually) so I couldn't resist. 97% fat free, no added sugar, only 105kcals per tub, the perfect sweet treat. We tried the Vanilla Chocolate Sundae - so creamy, so yummy, I highly recommend them.