checking in: hyc week 3

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All in all I've had a really good week:
  • I haven't binged once

  • In fact I haven't even been close to being out of control with my food once

  • I bought my fabulous bike and have been out on it 3 times so far - day 1 I already told you about, day 2 was the same route and I'm glad to say a little bit easier, day 3 was a slightly longer route (just about up to 10km... hey it's a start) and in 35C heat (95F - who's crazy ass idea was that?), today I've taken the day off today to let my poor saddle sore bruised backside get used to the idea.
  • I've been hopeful and happy again, I'm sure my hubby will agree I've been a darn site easier to live with than the Ani of December and before

  • I've lost 1 kilo (2lbs)
So why do I feel so flat about it?

I've been getting ahead of myself again. It sounds dreadfully ungrateful but I just wish I could have gone into the next kilo. That's where the BMI line would have taken me under 40, back out of "morbidly" obese and just into plain regular obese (or just "seriously" obese).

Ungrateful child

I seriously should be more pleased than I am. It hadn't even registered I'd gone as high as "morbid" again until yesterday, so there really isn't any place for disappointment.

I've got to find a way to reconcile myself to all the weight I gained in the last year or this is going to be one heck of a bumpy up and down ride of highs and lows; boosts and slumps; excitement over losing weight being swamped by beating myself for gaining it in the first place. I don't have the energy for the emotional roller coaster, I'd much rather a steady, measured and calm path. I've got so much head work to do to figure out how not to let it happen again, I really don't need to make it any harder.

So anyways, the stats, and they really are fab - gimme a minute and I'll pick my spoilt sulky bottom lip off of the floor and remember to count me bleedin' blessings:

today's weight: 112kg / 247lb / 17st 9lbs
loss of: 1kg / 2.2lbs

Good luck to all you other HYCers out there.

8 comments:

Skinny Inside said...

Good job on the 2.2lbs! I really loved (and understood) your previous post about girl talk time. I haven't had much of that, either. Keep up the great work!

Losing Waist! said...

Not bingeing is really wonderful. I know that when I have an extended dry spell it sure empowers me to keep going. The more I do them the more I do them... You did have a very strong week!

Mama Bear June said...

Hey, you are doing a great job and I take a month or longer to lose 2.2 pounds most of the time. (Exceptions include a doctor-ordered liquid diet. NOT a good way to lose.)
Path to Health

Lainie said...

Congrats on the loss! Every loss is great and keep those non-scale victories in mind, too!

ani pesto said...

Thank you
It really is support like this that keeps me in check, reminds me I AM doing good and I WILL get there. Being impatient and flat about my successes will more likely only have a negative impact in the long rung.

Cammy said...

Did no one tell you about the other category? It's called 'onmywaytonormal' obese. I can't remember exactly where it falls in the order, but I'm pretty sure it's about where you are now. :)

So many successes, especially the one where you've figured out that you need to stay in the present.

Hanlie said...

You know, we've been brainwashed to believe that the scale is our measure of progress. It's simply not true! Your progress is that you did not binge, you rode your bike AND you lost 1 kg. And that is fantastic! Don't let your goal be a number on the scale, let it be to do healthy things every day. The scale will follow...

In that vein, well done on a very successful week!

ani pesto said...

'onmywaytonormal'... hehe amen!

Brainwashing indeed - sometimes the number has way too much power over me. I had been feeling so good about the week until I worked out what the numbers meant.