grouching

“Have a nice day” the smiley postal clerk said.

“Unlikely” my inner voice spontaneously replied.

To say I’m not in a very positive frame of mind right now is an understatement. I’m a total moody grouchbag (husband – usual rules apply here, I can call me names... you still can’t).

I went to bed last night with a scowl on my face, having weighed in at 106.5kg. I awoke to the very same scowl, after not enough sleep and having just received a very short email from someone I want to think of as one of my dearest friends. She was reminding me to send her things I’d promised to post months and months ago, no chat no nothing just a subject of “Request!”. We’ve really drifted lately and I hate myself for that. I was a nightmare to be around in the run-up to my wedding, then followed by the depressive self-obsessed mess I got myself in last year, I haven’t managed to recover the friendship very successfully. I haven’t even done the simple little things I said I’d do, what kind of a friend is that?

I then had a personal training session and I really felt for the poor guy as I scowled my way through every instruction instead of having my usual cheeky smile as he’s telling me “just 2 more...” for the second time. Now, half way through the day and my disposition hasn’t improved any. I had an infuriating meeting this morning and I can’t see it getting any better.

The only tactical response my brain has to all this is “give me food”.

I don’t know if I’m scared to face the emotions I’m feeling or if I’m just not equipped to do so, but I do know food isn’t the answer.


One bright thing to report though, I met Miss Milo last night and she is every bit as lovely in real life as she is on her blog. I had a really great evening and felt like I’d known her for ages. Thank you Miss M – only sorry I’ve overshadowed the fabness with my present negativity.