My wardrobe's starting to open up to me again. The return of all my old favourites is just starting to feel within reach.
I tried on a dress this morning, a black summer frock with white polka dots. I always loved this dress, I remember how fantastic it felt the day I bought it in a *normal*, non-fat, high street store. It's smart enough for work but flowy enough to let me feel girly on a summer's eve. It's also the dress I wore for our wedding pre-shoot some time around October or November 2007. This summer however, it has hung abandoned on a hanger completely unwearable. But from this morning's trial, I'd say it's only about a kilo or two away from me once more.
A few of my clothes have been very forgiving. They came with me on the full re-gain journey, stretching and covering where needed, tolerating the fact they no longer looked their finest. Other garments accommodated only a few kilos before giving up the ghost. And then there were the hopeful clothes - the ones that only borderline fitted at my lowest but would have been fabulous to shrink into. Many of these items are sizes I really only ever wore in the last couple of years. The only other time I was that weight was when I was a teenager and I went straight from the fitted clothes of my childhood to the excessively baggy, cover-up, black monstrosities more befitted of a moody youth.
Next stop after my polka-dot frock is the pink floral dress I bought in Seattle last July. It's a great one to wear over jeans, again girly but very casual and relaxed. I was about 100kg when I bought it, one of only a couple of mid-gain clothes purchases, having sworn to myself I wouldn't ever buy big again, it was a size 12 or 14 US and a wee bit tight but made me feel great. At 95kg, my two black pants, size 18 UK/Aus (I'm the original pear-shaped gal, at my lowest I managed UK/Aus size 12 tops, size 14-16 flared skirts but size 18 pants to cater for my hips, bum and thighs ) will hopefully join the party and I'll finally be able to wear trousers to work again. There's another frock, dresses were a hugely exciting new discovery as part of my weight loss journey, previously not worn since my age was in single figures, bought somewhere around 87kg. You'll be the first to know when that one fits again. Now that will be a day to celebrate. It might even be the moment I stop hiding and show my face, eyes n'all, around these parts.
The chance of a second shot at all of these clothes is exhilarating. Only recently the sight of them all in my wardrobe had been so depressing but now they're starting to excite me in anticipation. Even more exhilarating is the prospect of even smaller sizes, the fresh, un-trodden pastures of fantastic shopping trips ahead. One day every one of these target pieces will go the same path as my size 28 and 30 jeans and find their way to the charity shops, only to be remembered in photographs once more.
I don't know if it's the surrounds I find myself today or the thrill of my long awaited lunch hour magazine fest to catch up on the Oscar fashions - I missed everything Oscar related on Monday and hadn't even had a moment to surf so hadn't seen a single picture until lunch time today when I dropped everything to insure an hour to myself just me, Who and OK - but I feel quite giddy in my excitement.
I'm on-site at a client's again today. At a place where the security guards have guns and secretaries still call their bosses "Sir". One such boss, a grey bearded chap with a look somewhere between batty old uncle and public school headmaster, is just the other side of the room from me pom-pom-pom-ing a barely recognisable rendition of Mozart's Magic Flute. It's a very different world to where I'm used to working.
Anyways, I really should get back to thinking about work instead of clothes, it sure is nice to be excited about them once more though. Oh and before I forget, the wee devil got safely banished yesterday - no overeating whatsoever and a fab cycle ride with my hubby in the evening to boot.