too much

I'm getting too much of a lot of things right now; too much to do and too much food being just the start.

Next week I finish up with my current employer and the week after I finish up with my current home to join my husband the other side of the country in a brand new city with a brand new job. I've got so much to do and so much to organise it's all just too much!

For a gal who turns to food when stressed this isn't good.

What IS good though is the fact I haven't caved; I haven't binged, not even once.

Today I reached the point of sheer anxiety that would normally send me running and screaming (the "running and screaming" part all being entirely internal and invisible to the naked eye) into a shop to buy just enough food to deaden and numb the stress. I didn't do it. I didn't even think of doing it. In fact I only thought of it now while pondering about how I could have done it.

I do feel I've eaten too much food but just like last weeks wine and pasta it's somehow still been under control. My working week has been a healthy eating mine field. Tuesday was that client curry lunch, yesterday had a catered lunch time meeting - being focused primarily for the geeks of the company it was extremely stereotypically 'male' food i.e. pies and chips - followed by leaving drinks after work - one of many 'leaving' occasions with different people I won't see again for a while. Today brought with it lunch with old work colleagues at nandos (mmmmm nandos, you can't fault them for their flamegrilled goodness) followed by a ladies networky meeting - catered, of course, for the ladies this time so pesto dips, cheese, sausages and antipasto style nibbles. Now I didn't name this blog ani pesto for nothing - I love antipasto and most of all I LOVE pesto. I intented not to eat a bite but instead managed to restrain myself just enough so I wouldn't have to go without for dinner. I then came home with my taste buds aroused and made a huge plate of wholegrain pasta and steamed vegetables stirred through with yet more pesto yummmmm!

That's a lot of food. But it's real life and it's largely good food.

My next few days, in fact next two weeks, are likely to follow on in very much the same way. I may not shift the weight this week but there's still a definite shift in behaviour. In the bigger picture this is still a good week - a whole week of not binging; not turning to food in times of stress and not turning a broken intention to avoid the buffet table into an excuse to pig out.

I think that's where this blog might just come into its own. It's the only place for me to see and record these non-scale victories. The tricky bit for me will be remembering and recognising them.


Felicia said...

I think it sounds like you have a great plan!! Best wishes to you! I am sure you will do great. Look how great you are already doing!


Cammy said...

Oooh, I agree! Recording the things we're doing right (and wrong, for that matter) seems to make them more prominent. And resolvable. :) Glad you're having such a great week. Control is a beautiful thing!