Thank you for words of support. I think like many of the comments said, it was very much a pressure cooker reaction which hadn't fully blown until after I'd made it safely through the stress.
The last few days haven't been all that much better. Another big binge Thursday, a mini one Friday, a clean day on Saturday (and finally a fabbo ride on the motorbike with hubby discovering a nearby winery - very very nice) and then more stress-grazing today.
I'm off to Sydney tomorrow morning (K not Kay I'll be in touch - would be great to meet up again) for another 4 weeks straight (home at the weekends). I'm in denial about it, I haven't booked the 4:30am taxi or even thought about packing yet. It's also looking like it will be another stressful project, more overblown client expectations and pressures. Oh joy!
I'll do my best to check in. I sure do need the accountability. Despite my doubled-up gym membership I've only been 3 times in the last fortnight, I've stopped wearing my GoWear fit and my food and bingeing is back out of control (3kg gain and counting).
In a perverted way, I'm secretly hoping that the pressure of another 4am start and a new project will click me back into a sensible food frame of mind.... how backward is that?
ir a principal |
Ir a lateral
about 149kg - heaviest ever was 159kg
about 84kg - just 15kg from goal and I blew it
getting the flavour back into my diet and my life
about me
I'm Ani. I'd been overweight my whole adult life but at the end of 2007 I thought my dreams were coming true. I had lost 65 kilos (143lbs) and married a fabulous man in a gorgeous strapless gown that made me feel like a princess.
However, just over a year later and HALF the weight was back on again. I tried nipping it in the bud in the middle of that time but with little success. So here I am once more trying to learn what I thought I already knew.
I want to lose the weight and put the flavour back into my life again.
However, just over a year later and HALF the weight was back on again. I tried nipping it in the bud in the middle of that time but with little success. So here I am once more trying to learn what I thought I already knew.
I want to lose the weight and put the flavour back into my life again.
where I've been
about 149kg - heaviest ever was 159kg
where I'm going
about 84kg - just 15kg from goal and I blew it
Tags
- body image (4)
- eating disorders (3)
- exercise (13)
- goals (7)
- learnings (11)
- progress photo (1)
- setting the scene (2)
- weigh-in (19)
Copyright © 2008 ani pesto
Design by Styleshout | Blogger Templates by Foros del Blog
7 comments:
As ever, I'm thinking of you!
*hugs*
sounds stressful! goodluck with getting back on track but don't stress over it, sounds like your plate is well full.
x
Totally get your last point - on some levels the busy-ness sharpens your focus and you have less time to eat crappily, etc etc. Wishing you good luck in Sydney, hope it goes well and hope you get to see the lovely K. Take care comrade!!! xx
Perhaps just the very next thing you eat could be something special and fresh and wholesome. To remind yourself that you DO have control of over this.
The stress you're adding to yourself by thinking you have no control over this ... it can be remedied by thinking a different thought.
A thought?
:)
and
*hugs*
Hi Ani, I completely understand what you mean about the pressure being enough to click you back into a sensible food frame of mind. I have to go to London for work for 3 weeks this week and I am terrified, I already know I'll either do amazing or just bomb and eat terribly and do no exercise. Pressure situations do that to me too. Even if I do well, when I get home and the pressure is off, that is normally when I drop the ball, so I very much understand where you are coming from.
Also, apparently we go to the same gym! I thought when you described the spin room it sounded the same as my gym, but never having done a spin class, I thought maybe they are all dark with tiny lights! Anyway, Miss Milo told me that you have moved to that part of town, so we'll have to have a gym date when we are both back! :-)
Good luck in Sydney!
Good luck in Sydney Ani. Nothing is backwards if it works for you LOL!
Yay for motorbike riding with your Mr!!
I don't think it's backwards - it actually makes sense. :) Often, it is hard to bring about structure where there is none, but it is easier to structure the tough stuff when there is an existing - or imposed structure. This made sense in my head. :P
Post a Comment