with added salt

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It's 11:30am, I'm standing in my PJs and slippers making myself a cup of coffee with what's left of the milk after my opportunistic cat took to lapping it out of the jug when my back was turned. Life is back to normal.

Well *close* to normal. I'm still 106kg and so exhausted and fragile that I cry at anything, my eating and exercise is all over the place, it's months since I last took photos, wrote an email to a friend, caught up on blogs or did anything just for me, and even today I'll be spending what's left of it working. But it feels close, like I'm almost there.

Seriously though with the crying thing. Yesterday at lunch, my dark rye and roast vegies toastie was being made up and the cafe woman started spreading avocado onto both pieces of bread when I'd really wanted pesto onto the other side - the tears welled up behind my eyes. A couple of nights ago when I'd gone out to pick up a coffee and they told me at the counter they were shut - more tears. The morning of my birthday - LOTS of tears. Anything and everything is making me cry at the moment. I wonder if flushing out that much salty water might have a detoxing effect?

Thank you for sticking by me and for your kind words, I'll pop by to yours and say "hi" soon enough.

8 comments:

The Better Idiot said...

I think the crying thing is probably the stress from other areas of your life popping out wherever it can. Hopefully once you've had your discussion meeting you'll feel better for getting things out.

chubrubb said...

You're going through so much stress right now, I really hope you get some time off in the near future... Good luck!

Big Girl said...

Thinking of you. I truely hope things get back to a more normal state for you. But in the mean time hang in there and please take just a little time for yourself, it sounds like you really do need it.

Amrita said...

It's definitely the stress - it happens to me too. It's as if exercising such strict control over the things that you have to do by a certain time means that there needs to be a release. I'm glad to hear there's light soon.

Miss Milo said...

Thinking of you, lovely lady. Hang in there. xxx

JanetM97 said...

Hope you are well and your stress has decreased!

Liv said...

Hello,

I just popped by to say I love reading your blog and hope you are ok.
Come back when you are ready?

liv

The Better Idiot said...

Hey Ani, where are you? Come back to us!