the meaning of life


Career coaching is going really well. My homework for this week is to set myself a vision. I have a worksheet to fill in, covering questions about my passions, interests and purpose in life.

I've never had much direction, I'm sure I've spoken before about how hard I find it to make goals. Previously in my career, as in my life, I've merely followed the twists and turns in the road as they open. For someone like me, this exercise is no mean feat. To help with the task of defining how I want my life to look, my coach gave me a "Life Purpose Guided Meditation".

So this morning, after dropping off hubby at the train station, I settled down in a comfy chair and started to listen. The meditation took me to a gorgeous beach with pristine turquoise sea, not at all difficult to let my mind go there, it was already 33°C and barely 7am, I really could have done with dipping my toes in the ocean. In a beautiful rockpool I was to start seeing a glimmer of how life is going to look in 10 years' time; where is home and what does it look like, what occupies my time and keeps me busy; what does work look like, what kind of people, what type of atmosphere?

I could picture exactly what I wanted my home life to look like, but I really did struggle somewhat with work. I tried to imagine walking in somewhere and saying "good morning" to my colleagues - what type of people were they, what kind of a building is it, am I office based or where am I, and most importantly (of course) do we have coffee breaks or is there a nice cafe nearby?

All my answers were rather vague.

As the meditation finished, I filled in a couple of questions on my questionnaire then had an overwhelming desire to do some gardening. Believe me, my husband will have just fallen off his chair as he read that. Ani - gardening - unprompted?!! I did mention the crazy hot temperature today yeah? I whipper-snippered the lawn until the funny plastic red string ran out and stopped me in my tracks. Then, undeterred, and despite not being quite inspired enough to get my butt into gear and go to Bunnings to buy some more, I moved my energy inside and hoovered the whole house instead.

I'm now feeling somewhat smug, and so far not at all inclined to overeat, I've even worked up quite a sweat. So there you have it, my life purpose is to do chores and housework, hubby will be delirious ;-)


Happy New Year! I hope you're all doing well out there and 2010 is bringing good things.

Christmas hiatus is over and here I am jobless and not quite sure what I should be doing. Should I be running out there to do this and that, poking my head into every crevasse in case it might become an opportunity or a direction clue? Or should I be taking it easy, having a break and learning how to relax, trusting that all good things will come in good time?

The stress and anxiety hasn't lifted and I'm scared that with no focus it wouldn't take much to turn into depression. My weight is still on the up. Life is a constant battle to overcome procrastination. One teensy thing at a time I'm getting through it, but I know I'm not functioning on all cylinders. I keep putting off everything, writing here in the blog for one, I even have some Christmas presents still not yet sent. Most of all I've avoided making resolutions - at least that way I can't break them hey.