Happy New Year! I hope you're all doing well out there and 2010 is bringing good things.
Christmas hiatus is over and here I am jobless and not quite sure what I should be doing. Should I be running out there to do this and that, poking my head into every crevasse in case it might become an opportunity or a direction clue? Or should I be taking it easy, having a break and learning how to relax, trusting that all good things will come in good time?
The stress and anxiety hasn't lifted and I'm scared that with no focus it wouldn't take much to turn into depression. My weight is still on the up. Life is a constant battle to overcome procrastination. One teensy thing at a time I'm getting through it, but I know I'm not functioning on all cylinders. I keep putting off everything, writing here in the blog for one, I even have some Christmas presents still not yet sent. Most of all I've avoided making resolutions - at least that way I can't break them hey.
ir a principal |
Ir a lateral
about 149kg - heaviest ever was 159kg
about 84kg - just 15kg from goal and I blew it
getting the flavour back into my diet and my life
about me
I'm Ani. I'd been overweight my whole adult life but at the end of 2007 I thought my dreams were coming true. I had lost 65 kilos (143lbs) and married a fabulous man in a gorgeous strapless gown that made me feel like a princess.
However, just over a year later and HALF the weight was back on again. I tried nipping it in the bud in the middle of that time but with little success. So here I am once more trying to learn what I thought I already knew.
I want to lose the weight and put the flavour back into my life again.
However, just over a year later and HALF the weight was back on again. I tried nipping it in the bud in the middle of that time but with little success. So here I am once more trying to learn what I thought I already knew.
I want to lose the weight and put the flavour back into my life again.
where I've been
about 149kg - heaviest ever was 159kg
where I'm going
about 84kg - just 15kg from goal and I blew it
Tags
- body image (4)
- eating disorders (3)
- exercise (13)
- goals (7)
- learnings (11)
- progress photo (1)
- setting the scene (2)
- weigh-in (19)
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7 comments:
Happy New Year! I'm sure everything will work out. xx
Happy new year! Have you thought about getting a part time job just to tide you over. I know when I've been not working, I turn into a lazy blob but having some structure in the day makes a huge difference. Even volunteering a few hours for a charity gets you out of the house and in contact with other humans :)
Ani, Ani, it almost sounds like deep within, you try hard to find something, anything to stress about... I know this sounds a bit harsh - can't really think of a better way to put it, but think about for a moment...
I second the idea of finding something to do, especially volunteering, or joining some group/activity thing. Something that involves people and activity/being out and about (not sitting in an office arranging files or whatever). Something to open up horizons, get in touch with new areas, get in contact with people from all walks of life. You need not to be alone right now. It's overwhelming to try to come up with all the answers by yourself (I've been there merely weeks ago).
Don't stress about resolutions. Just be for a bit, but do not lock yourself away. You'll know when you are ready.
*hugs*
PS: Any thoughts on the link I sent you? Any actions?
I agree with K - you'll know when you are ready :) And if you're not, give yourself permission to be a bum for awhile, however hard that must be for your perfectionist brain :) If you do find yourself going crazy, perhaps try to introduce a bit of structure back into your life gradually - make a rule to always be up, showered and dressed by 10am, even if it's only to watch DVDs or play with your kitties :) Or make a to-do list of small things you'd like to achieve, even simple stuff like organise your paperwork, update your facebook photos, call a friend, research creative new hobbies ;) - just so you feel a sense of achievement and like you're getting somewhere each day.
I'm around and keen to catch up whenever you feel like it, too :) Would love to meet in Richmond for lunch or after work for a drink if you're up for it!
Take care of yourself sweetie
xxxx
Happy New Year! I'm glad to hear from you :) Hopefully things will settle a bit when you have time to breathe and rest. Good luck to you! <3
thank you for your comments and suggestions. I think some volunteer work is a great idea and definitely something worth pursuing.
@k not kay - you're not wrong, nor too harsh. I think sometimes I really do just unwittingly search out stress, and quite often by means of avoiding something that is genuinely bothering me and should be dealt with.
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